Cinderella Villain
By Rachel

Cinderella Memoirs
Hello. I am the poor defenseless girl named Cinderella.  I live with my evil step… uh something… And I have to… um… work all day.

“Yes! Yes! That’s what I’ll put!” Young Cinderella exclaimed.

Her plan was to write an epic tale about herself, but make herself the victim. The story was to be passed down from generation to generation, but why would she need to MAKE herself the victim? I asked myself the same question. Me? I’m Brianne the reporter. I’ve found evidence that this little “Cinderella Story” is a huge fake, and I’ve decided to do research on the tale. I will reveal MY truth on the matter!

The Real Cinderella
By Reporter Brianne

Cinderella opened the door to her mansion and immediately one of her step sisters was there at her feet. “Good morning Princess Cinderella.” The sister, Drizella, said, kneeling by her.
“Get up scum!” Cinderella exclaimed and her sister immediately did so. “Where’s your foolish little friends at?”
“I must remark!” Cried the terrified sister, “I think you meant, ‘where ARE your foolish little friends’… y- your princess-ness.” The sister looked away, obviously afraid of a scolding.
And she got one.
Cinderella turned around slowly glaring down evilly at the poor defenseless girl and banished her (rather loudly) from anywhere but her room. Drizella left in a hurry.
“Hm! The nerve of that girl!” Cinderella complained, and then glanced around, “Where is the one that’s supposed to meet me at the door??” She obviously hadn’t realized who she just sent away.
“It was Drizilla.” A new voice sounded. This one was owned by Lady Tremaine.
“What?” Cinderella spat, tapping her foot with her arms crossed. “Who the heck is Dracu-zilla?”
“Drizilla.” Lady Tremaine insisted, “The one you’ve just sent away!”
“Well whatever.” Cinderella headed toward the dining room. She rudely plopped down into her seat, shifting the yellow-cream cloth that matched the ugly walls.
“WHERE’S MY DINNER??” She called, irritated. Cinderella fumbled around with a large wooden candle that sat in the middle of the table, set for ten people.
Soon enough another one of her step sisters came in, holding a covered platter. She bowed her head as she placed the platter in front of Cinderella.
“Make haste, dummy. I’ve had a hard day at work righting my memoirs, and I’m beat!” Cinderella crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Anastasia- that was this sister’s name- pulled off the cover, revealing the food, it was soup.
“What’s this?” Cinderella said, clearly dissatisfied.
“Well… um. It’s Brown Soup.” Ana replied.
“Did I ask for this?!?” It was a rhetorical question, the answer obviously being “no” but that was only with Cinderella’s awful memory.
“Actually… Yes. You told us last night that you wanted Brown Soup tonight. You said, ‘It’s all the rage in Paris!’” Ana nodded.
“DID I ASK YOU??” Cinderella exclaimed.
“Um. Yes.” Ana said hesitantly. “Yes you did.”
For the most part Cinderella ignored this because she was hungry. She leaned down, splashed her spoon in the soup and slurped loudly.
“ACK!” She exclaimed, throwing her arm across the table and knocking the soup everywhere. “THIS SOUP’S TOO COLD!”
“B- But it’s room temperature, just like you asked!” Ana seemed to be on the verge of crying.
“Be gone! And send someone to bring me more of that soup!” She called, and then muttered, “It was good.” Flustered, Ana ran from the room.
Next, in came Lady Tremaine, she brought in the soup. Cinderella took one sip and flung the soup across the room. “THIS SOUP’S TOO HOT!”
“Princess.” Lady Tremaine said, “It’s room temperature.
Next Tremaine came, named after Lady Tremaine. She placed the soup in front of Cinderella and grew worried as Cinderella eyed her suspiciously. She took one sip of the soup and said, “This one’s just right!”
“But it’s just room temperature like the others.” Tremaine said quietly. Cinderella didn’t hear this; how could she over her loud slurping? When she was done, she leaned back in her chair with a full belly and looked down on the girl. “So… which one are you?”
“My name is Tremaine.”
“I thought that the one that was just in here was Tremaine.”
“Well, yes, we have the-”
“YES? That’s absurd! How can this be??”
“Well, Lady Tremaine is my m-”
“NO, NO, NO! I won’t hear of this!”
“But-“
“Just clean up all this soup everywhere! Didn’t you guys clean the house like I told you??”
“We did but then you-“
“JUST CLEAN!”
Cinderella left in a fuss. She pounded up the stairs and got ready for bed.

The next morning, while Cinderella chomped on her bacon, she went on and on about the FABULOS party she was going to, but most importantly Prince Awsome-ness was going to be there. Cinderella couldn’t stop going on about how, handsome and evil he was. It was like they were a perfect match. Lady Tremaine, Ana, and Tremaine were all furious about how much she talked. Cinderella NEVER shut up.
Around midday, Cinderella slipped into her white dress and flopped down on the couch in front of the television. She opened a bag of Cheese Puffs and stuffed herself. A magical fairy appeared right in front of the T.V.!
“GREETINGS! I’M THE TOOTH-FAI-” The Tooth-fairy didn’t have time to finish before Cinderella interrupted.
“Yo, you’re blocking wrestling.” She swatted the fairy away and the poor fairy was flung right out the window.
The tooth-fairy never visited Cinderella again.

After about five hours of wrestling, and a newly oranged dress, Cinderella headed for that party.
When she arrived she was pleased to see that Prince Awsome-ness had gotten her a gift. It was a giant pumpkin. He said that he had his workers grow it just for her, and this made Cinderella feel special. She also noticed that the pumpkin was completely empty on the inside, it had been carved out. Prince Awsome-ness smiled and hooked up about four hundred mice to it, after adding wheels to the pumpkin.
“This carriage is just for you,” He said dreamily. “SO LET’S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!” The prince left happily with Cinderella, knowing that the party had enough pumpkin pie to last them a year, and much more still at home.
The traveled for a while until they got to a pig’s house, a house that was made of straw. Together they huffed and puffed and blew the house down. Then they discovered a pig’s house that was made of twigs and they huffed and puffed and blew the house down. While they were on the way to the third house the prince pondered aloud, “Aren’t pig’s supposed to be in pens anyway?”
When they arrived at the third house that was made of brick they didn’t hesitate for one moment. They huffed, and puffed, and threw a wrecking ball at it. Actually, seven wrecking balls; this way it would have the same effect as the other houses.
All through the night the prince and princess laughed and made rude jokes about three of the tailless mice that were pulling them and that happened to be blind. But soon, as the clock struck midnight, Cinderella realized that the pumpkin was rotting. They had to ditch it and catch a cab back to the prince’s mansion. Cinderella decided to live with him and finish her memoirs.
Prince Awsome-ness and Princess Cinderella lived happily evilly after, selling pie and pie accessories.
Drizilla was never seen again.

THE END

Reporter Brianne here, that’s what REALLY happened with Cinderella and her stepsisters. Or that’s my theory, rather. I haven’t begun my research yet...